Warning: Spoilers for the “Game of Thrones” premiere ahead.
Winter is here, and it’s everything fans have been waiting for.
“Game of Thrones” returned to HBO Sunday night with its season-seven premiere, and it didn’t disappoint. Here come the spoilers.
The episode had action (multiple Stark-revenging deaths in the cold open), humor, Jaime with some fire in his belly, a suddenly sympathetic Hound, and Little Lady Mormont standing up for the women of Westeros.
Here are 7 great moments from “Dragonstone,” the season-seven premiere.
1. Arya avenges the Red Wedding
Killing Walder Frey after feeding him two of his sons wasn’t enough revenge for the horrific wedding that killed Catelyn Stark, King Robb, his pregnant wife, and many others. Arya (disguised as Walder) gathered the rest of the Frey supporters in a room and gave them all wine, which we knew was poisoned even before she stopped the servant girl from imbibing. Guess what? It was one of those nasty Westeros poison wines, and soon the men were upchucking their Two-Buck Chuck and what appeared to be their own guts. Cat and Robb, you were avenged.
Best lines: Arya to the servant girl: “When people ask you what happened here, tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey.”
2. Big surprise
Who do the undead White Walkers now have on their side? Wun Wun, the awesome giant, now zombified, still missing his eye that Ramsay Bolton shot out! Wun Wun, nooooo! And also, whoaaaaa! This is a great little storyline, as sad as it may make fans feel.
Best lines: No lines, just a picture painting a thousand words.
3. Lady Mormont won’t stick to her knitting
Women usually follow traditional roles in “Game of Thrones,” though Brienne of Tarth and Arya have shown the females of the show can fight with the best of them. So when Jon announced that both genders would be called to arms, it was tough preteen Lady Lyanna Mormont who shot down any disagreement, announcing that House Mormont will train all of their people, men, women, boys and girls alike. Look, the White Walkers aren’t going to let a woman or girl live just because she doesn’t know how to defend herself.
Best line: Lady Lyanna to Jon and his men: “I don’t plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me.”
4. Jaime and Cersei hash it out
Have we ever seen Jaime speak this frankly to his twin and lover Cersei, the woman for whom he pushed Bran out a window? He lays out the enormous odds against the Lannisters, then asks her what they’re even fighting for now that they’ve lost all of their children (not sure he was sold on her “a dynasty for us” line). And when Cersei snaps that she’s the queen of the seven kingdoms, he corrects her: “Three kingdoms at best.” He even gets her to discuss Tommen’s suicide — “he betrayed me,” Tommen’s mother responds. Ouch. Jaime’s a helluva fighter, but it’s clear he doesn’t share his twin’s hunger for power.
Best lines: Jaime: The Greyjoys? You invited the Greyjoys to King’s Landing.
Cersei: Well, not all of them
Jaime, staring at the massive fleet: Well, it looks like all of them.
5. Euron Greyjoy makes his case
Euron Greyjoy, Theon’s murderous uncle, does indeed sail in with his kraken-decorated fleet, and let’s just say he and the Lannisters don’t become fast friends. Jaime thinks the Ironborn are “bitter, angry little people,” and he’s surely right. Euron tries to strut his best stuff in front of the Iron Throne and blame Theon and Yara (“murdering them would make me feel a lot better”), but both Jaime and Cersei can’t help but reveal that they think he’s a giant idiot. Euron praises Jaime’s slaughter of Euron’s own relatives and dismisses his native Iron Islands as “nothing but rocks and bird shit and a number of very unattractive people.” But then he promises Cersei a priceless gift, and gaaah, it better not be Tyrion.
Best line: Euron, proposing to Cersei and dissing Jaime at the same time: “So here I am, with a thousand ships, and two good hands.”
6. Sam is takin’ care of business
Sam dreamed of endless time with the books, scrolls and knowledge of the Citadel. Ha ha ha boo hoo hoo. In a “my crappy job is worse than your crappy job” montage, we see Sam reshelving heavy volumes, emptying and scrubbing nasty chamber pots and serving soup that looks a lot like what was in those chamber pots. Sure, by the end of the scene, he seems to have discovered an underground stash of dragonglass (at Dragonstone, duh). But was saving the world worth all the poop and soup? (Also: If you were wondering where greyscale-fighting Jorah was, the news isn’t good.)
Best line: The Archmaester to autopsy-helper Sam as he strides away from a bloody “Alien Autopsy”-looking corpse: “Be a good lad, clean that up.”
7. Dany comes home
If this was a nine-item list, we’d have to include Arya meeting up with a shockingly kind band of Lannister men, including a crooning Ed Sheeran, and The Hound’s devastation at seeing what happens to the father and daughter he mugged. But to keep it to seven items, we have to include Daenerys setting foot once again on her home sands of Dragonstone, and even Tyrion holding back to let her explore her ancestral home, where she even tears down a Baratheon banner. And if we thought the Iron Throne was badass, it’s got nothing on the Mad King’s terrifyingly intimidating former chair.
Best line: Dany, to her cabinet, and to all of us: “Shall we begin?” HELL YEAH WE SHALL.
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